It’s holiday season. As a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) with TV constantly sounding in the background, I am bombarded with everything I “should” be doing to make this time of year a magical celebration. But for me, the holidays have started to feel like a mix of grief and disappointment.
Let me be clear—this isn’t a blog bashing the holidays. It’s just an honest reflection of what they’ve felt like for me lately.
The Chaos of SAHM Life
There’s this meme of Mr. Krabs that always cracks me up because, as a pregnant SAHM, I am that meme. Picture this: I wake up with my son’s butt crashing down on my head, the house is in disarray, the lights are still on, and sensory videos are blaring. I look at my watch and realize I’ve only slept 2 to 5 minutes at a time.
As a firstborn, independent woman, I’ve always prided myself on doing everything on my own. But lately, my body has been screaming, You absolutely can’t! Thankfully, I’ve started leaning on a community of resources to help me accept that I don’t have to do it all.
Thanksgiving Plans Gone Awry
This year, I had big plans for a full Thanksgiving spread. We bought everything, started cooking, and then—somewhere in the chaos—just stopped.Both of us were exhausted, pushing ourselves to the limit. At some point, I realized that I wasn’t chasing the food itself, but the comfort of tradition. When that plan failed, it hit me hard: a fully cooked ham, turkey, yams, and greens went to waste, and I was left feeling defeated.
Unexpected Turns
The next morning, I had a gender reveal appointment for “Thing 4,” as my husband lovingly calls them. I was hungry, disappointed in myself, and overwhelmed. To make things even harder, I learned that my grandfather had passed away.I knew I’d be grieving from a distance since I’m not in close contact with much of my family. This reminded me of why I cherish moments of gratitude with my immediate family so much. I often say no to commitments during this season, choosing instead to focus inward.
A Lesson in Letting Go
With the support of my sweet husband, we celebrated our news and even managed to cook a simpler dinner later that week (It was so good!). This experience taught me an important lesson: sometimes, when plans fall through, it’s divine intervention reminding me to slow down.I’ve learned to:
• Lessen my load.
• Lower my expectations.
• Be more in tune with how I feel in the moment.
Pregnancy has brought me clarity and made me realize I can’t be everything to everyone while neglecting myself.
A Message to my Community
If you’re navigating the holidays while feeling overwhelmed or struggling to “keep up,” here’s what I want you to know:1. Be intentional. Make the holiday meaningful in a way that works for you—whether that’s simple or grand.
2. Unplug. Step back from the noise and expectations that pull you away from peace.
3. Breathe. A reminder from my doula: simply pausing and taking deep breaths can reset your day and change its trajectory.
Feel Your Feels
This reset isn’t always a cure-all. If you’re grieving or struggling during this “cheerful season,” allow yourself to feel your emotions—good, bad, or indifferent. Have your WTF moments, but don’t stay stuck in them.Sending love to everyone navigating this season as best as they can, especially fellow boy moms (deep sigh).
