The Power of Prayer & Waiting on God
I’ve learned the power of praying consistently and waiting on God—whether for an answer, direction, or sometimes both. Hearing from Him concerning the desires of your heart is an experience like no other, a reminder that you are directly connected to Him.Processing Mario’s Diagnosis
Lately, we’ve been processing the news of Mario’s Bipolar 1 and ADD diagnosis. When I first heard, I immediately felt a new sense of clarity in our relationship. While the diagnosis wasn’t obvious before, it now explains so much—things that once felt drastic now make sense.I am constantly in awe of my husband. Before knowing this about himself, he simply was—navigating life, wondering what was “wrong,” yet remaining steadfast. His unwavering desire to care for me and our family, despite what he’s been battling internally, is a testament to his strength and trust in God. Nothing about this news has made him unlovable. He has taken full control of getting the help he needs while asking that I respect his boundaries. Which means I can't handle this like I would normally.
As his wife, I can’t fully grasp how this affects him, but I am committed to supporting him, encouraging him to continue seeking the help he needs. At the same time, God has equipped me to be there for him while also doing the necessary work to examine and heal myself.
Experiencing his bipolar 1, especially through manic episodes, has been scary—because I know who my husband is at his core, and at times, the contrast was overwhelming. My first experience of this was in Clarion, and one day, Mario and I will be able to sit down and tell that story in its entirety.
Unfortunately, I have been wounded by many incidents that stemmed from his undiagnosed condition and the inability to seek help from those I assumed were close to him. But even that has not changed my love for him or the foundation of who we are together.
Mario has always, no matter what, been there for me in the best possible way. He has loved me strongly through some of my lowest lows and has constantly reminded me that God is our anchor. I’m thankful because I know in whom his heart is always anchored.
Beyond medication, counseling, and therapy, I trust God to continue giving my husband a sound mind. And I’ve had to pray that same conviction over myself, too.
Without seeking help myself, I don’t know if we’d be walking this road with as much clarity and purpose.
Without seeking help myself, I don’t know if we’d be walking this road with as much clarity and purpose.
My Own Diagnosis & Healing Journey
Through counseling, I was diagnosed with adjustment disorder with mixed anxiety and depressed mood—something that, in hindsight, reflects my mental state since my father’s passing.I don’t take medication, but I am actively working through it in therapy, church, and other outlets. Balancing everyday life while managing our mental health can feel like carrying the weight of the world.
If you’ve ever been in counseling, you know how visit summaries sometimes lay out things you thought you had already processed. Seeing those words has, at times, left me disappointed in myself.
But I’ve come to understand that healing is a journey—not a straight path. I am learning to give myself the same grace that God gives me daily. My expectation is healing on the other side.
I am in counseling weekly, but aside from that, I constantly trust God to renew my mind. One of my favorite songs, Be Transformed by Daniel T. Austin, says:
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, your heart, and your soul.”
There are many scriptures in the Bible about transformation, but one that’s been constant for me is:
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
— Romans 12:2 (NLT)
But I’ve come to understand that healing is a journey—not a straight path. I am learning to give myself the same grace that God gives me daily. My expectation is healing on the other side.
I am in counseling weekly, but aside from that, I constantly trust God to renew my mind. One of my favorite songs, Be Transformed by Daniel T. Austin, says:
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, your heart, and your soul.”
There are many scriptures in the Bible about transformation, but one that’s been constant for me is:
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
— Romans 12:2 (NLT)
God’s will for us is far greater than what we can imagine. In Him, we can build the confidence to one day see ourselves as He sees us.
My dad often preached about mental transformation. In his motivational group, The Mental Makeover, the slogan was:
My dad often preached about mental transformation. In his motivational group, The Mental Makeover, the slogan was:
“Change your mind, change your life.”
He believed that daily meditation on good and positive things could shift the trajectory of not only your day but your entire life. I hold onto and live that belief today. Maybe one day we'll have the discipline to pick the call back up.
Since my father’s passing, I can’t say I’ve always received the same grace I’ve given. But I have learned to give it to myself and block out the noise of a world that wants to offer the opposite.
Why I’m Sharing This
Because the truth is, you never really know what someone is going through. This is why we are taught to be kind, to extend grace—even when it isn’t always reciprocated.
Since my father’s passing, I can’t say I’ve always received the same grace I’ve given. But I have learned to give it to myself and block out the noise of a world that wants to offer the opposite.
Behind our smiles is a testament that you can still choose goodness and happiness.
In absence of my presence in places where I’m missed, I’m certain I’m doing the work necessary to show up again—and never have a reason to retract.
As parents, these diagnoses aren’t just labels we carry—they are the battles we are actively working through. They are the stripes we will one day look back on, not as burdens, but as testimonies of healing. Our children are depending on our change and healing.
One day, we will share our incredible triumphs and painful lows with our children, hoping that our honesty will guide them and keep them on the right path.
Mental health struggles, like addiction or any long-term treatment, require ongoing management. The difference now is that we know what we’re facing, and we are choosing to do something about it together.
Looking back, signs of our struggles were likely there long before we experienced significant loss—before Mario lost his sister, before I lost my father. Grief magnified everything, and we’ve had to rely on each other in our instability to keep our minds in the right place.
In navigating this journey, we’ve learned to be selfish about our peace—protecting our community, being intentional about who we seek support from, and prioritizing self-care.
In Black families, and honestly in many families, conversations about mental health are rare. If they do happen, they’re often not at the dinner table.
In absence of my presence in places where I’m missed, I’m certain I’m doing the work necessary to show up again—and never have a reason to retract.
As parents, these diagnoses aren’t just labels we carry—they are the battles we are actively working through. They are the stripes we will one day look back on, not as burdens, but as testimonies of healing. Our children are depending on our change and healing.
One day, we will share our incredible triumphs and painful lows with our children, hoping that our honesty will guide them and keep them on the right path.
Mental health struggles, like addiction or any long-term treatment, require ongoing management. The difference now is that we know what we’re facing, and we are choosing to do something about it together.
The Reality of Mental Health in Our Families
These diagnoses have also been a stark reminder that life is unpredictable.Looking back, signs of our struggles were likely there long before we experienced significant loss—before Mario lost his sister, before I lost my father. Grief magnified everything, and we’ve had to rely on each other in our instability to keep our minds in the right place.
In navigating this journey, we’ve learned to be selfish about our peace—protecting our community, being intentional about who we seek support from, and prioritizing self-care.
In Black families, and honestly in many families, conversations about mental health are rare. If they do happen, they’re often not at the dinner table.
But after receiving our diagnoses, we’ve begun to see how these struggles have existed in our lineage. Some of our family members, too, have only recently gained access to the resources necessary to understand and manage their own mental health.
It makes me wonder—was this always part of our story? Did we inherit battles that previous generations didn’t have the words or tools to fight?
What I do know is this: I am an advocate for doing something. Because something is always better than nothing.
What I do know is this: I am an advocate for doing something. Because something is always better than nothing.
Our lineage will not go without the tools and resources necessary to be whole.
Mario and his mom share bipolar, and through their recent diagnoses, they’ve been able to provide each other comfort in their journeys.
For me, I’m learning how to have healthy conversations with my mom. We share many similarities, and for someone like me—who spent almost a lifetime being an emotional hermit—I’ve had to learn how to be honest without fear.
For me, I’m learning how to have healthy conversations with my mom. We share many similarities, and for someone like me—who spent almost a lifetime being an emotional hermit—I’ve had to learn how to be honest without fear.
She has been a constant comfort, especially in marriage, motherhood, and simply being a daughter who didn’t always get what she needed but still achieved great success.
Most importantly, she has gently guided me back to the best resource outside of therapy—church. Since I’ve been attending, I can say with certainty that I have fully felt God’s healing power.
But for now, I’m choosing to be present—to go through the process instead of rushing past it.
Most importantly, she has gently guided me back to the best resource outside of therapy—church. Since I’ve been attending, I can say with certainty that I have fully felt God’s healing power.
Looking Forward
One day, I hope to look back at this chapter and see the fulfillment of God’s plan.But for now, I’m choosing to be present—to go through the process instead of rushing past it.
I am feeling every feeling, holding every emotion, and trusting God to hold us.
At the start of this year, I told you: Life be lifing.
And while that’s true, God has been doing His thing—holding this family together.
If you’re reading this and you feel—even in the smallest way—that something isn’t right with your mental health, please seek help.
Tap into your community. Find resources. Commit to seeing it through.
And while that’s true, God has been doing His thing—holding this family together.
If you’re reading this and you feel—even in the smallest way—that something isn’t right with your mental health, please seek help.
Tap into your community. Find resources. Commit to seeing it through.
Healing isn’t instant, and getting the right support may take time, but don’t give up.
Write your own narrative. Do what you need to do for you.
